


my universe

by beomrebi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst to Fluff, Arguments, ChanLix, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Deaf Character, Deaf Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Eventual Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Very slight swearing, bestboy!chan, but then it gets better I promise, deaf!felix, pretend they're in australia, soulsong au, they fight a lot at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beomrebi/pseuds/beomrebi
Summary: Everyone has a soulsong. A song that only you and your soulmate know.But things are different when one is deaf, and he doesn’t plan on revealing himself. After all, who would want a deaf soulmate?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 20
Kudos: 236





	my universe

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone has a soulsong. It can be a song or a tune, only heard in melodic notes. You hear it from birth, and it sticks with you forever.  
> Some soulmates release their music publicly, in hopes that their song will reach their other half. Others find their soulmate accidentally. Some just don’t stop singing it, taking every new encounter as an opportunity.  
> And when the both of you find each other, a beautiful harmony is created.
> 
> this was my very first fic i wrote firstly for chanlix and secondly for kpop in general! i came up with this "soulsong au" and i obviously love chanlix (this was before i became a moa lol) so i decided to write it! this one is special in a way because it's my first fic, therefore making it also not a very good fic but i hope you enjoy it either way!
> 
>  **slight tw//** implied assumed suicidal thoughts. i'll put an asterisks around the paragraph.  
> also i'm sorry they swear a little bit whoops it's all for the angst i promise
> 
> Disclaimer: Don’t own any of the characters, and this does not represent these idols in any way. It is purely written for entertainment. I also have minimal knowledge and understanding of deaf people, and don’t mean to offend them in any way. Please let me know if anything is wrong or offensive. Any information in this au is not an accurate representation of deaf people. I don’t know and I can’t imagine anything close to what they experience.

Felix has never heard the sounds of the world before. Since birth, he’s been cut off from the world. But that doesn’t stop the universe from giving him a soulsong. Ever since birth, the only thing he hears is the beautiful, bittersweet melody, created just for him and his soulmate.  
He hates it.  
He never asked for this.

Felix has always distanced himself. No one wants to be friends with a deaf person, he reasons. The reactions from the other kids are enough proof for him. But that doesn’t stop Bang Chan from bursting into his life and demanding that they be friends.

Being with Chan is easy. Even though it’s hard to communicate at first – a notebook full of words and scribbles – Felix finds his comfort in Chan. It just happened; he thinks. And Chan wouldn’t leave him alone, so Felix simply embraces his presence. Maybe he can have just one friend and that’s enough for him.

Chan loves making music, Felix finds out when they’re 16 and Chan bursts into Felix’s room with his first guitar with bright, shining eyes. Felix feels like he could look into those eyes forever. He brushes the feeling aside and smiles with adoration at his friend. Chan loves playing it all the time. He quickly learns the chords, and all the songs he loves, if they’re easy enough at first.

It happens one day, when Felix is relaxing in his room reading a book and Chan is playing his guitar on the bed. Felix just knows. Chan is learning to play his soulsong again. They’re 18, and Chan has finally learnt enough to be able to compose music. Felix simply stares in admiration for Chan’s passion and talent. He sees the soft look in his eyes and the determination to finish the song, and he knows. Something inside Felix has always made him sad whenever Chan plays music. It’s the fact that Felix can never hear Chan’s beautiful playing. He sees the delicate fingers picking at the strings, and the callused fingers from holding the strings down, but he hears nothing. His world is always silent.

Sometimes Felix likes to imagine his soulsong and pretend it’s what Chan is playing. Deep down, he longs for it. But he knows that it’ll never come true. And Felix has already decided, years before, that he does not want to meet his soulmate. He’ll only bring them pain, after all.

Felix is suddenly pulled out of his thoughts and shaken as Chan signs, “I did it! I can play my soulsong!!”

Felix grins wide and hugs Chan – he finally has a way to find his soulmate.

“It’s a shame I can’t heart it. I’m sure it’s beautiful.” Felix signs back poignantly.

Chan doesn’t ask the question he’s still wondering about. Because he knows the answer is the same. He asked it when they were 9, and then when they were 13, and Felix answered the same thing.

“I don’t need hearing aids. They’re too expensive and I’m happy with the silence. I have my soulsong too, anyway. I don’t need to hear anything else to be able to keep on living.”

What Chan doesn’t know is that Felix’s feelings have changed, and that the only thing he wants to hear is Chan’s voice.

Nevertheless, Chan understands, but he’s also so desperate for Felix to hear him. To hear his voice and his melodies and more importantly, his soulsong. Somewhere inside, Chan has a feeling, and he just wants to confirm it.

He musters up the courage again. He asks Felix to sing his soulsong. But alas, his efforts fail.

“I can’t.” Felix signs. “I can’t let anyone else hear it. I… I don’t want my soulmate.”

“Why? What about your soulmate? What are they supposed to do, be alone forever, never knowing who their soulmate is?” Chan signs slightly aggressively. He doesn’t mean any harm, but it hurts him even more to see Felix’s response.

“There’s no one who would be happy to have a deaf person as their soulmate. And that’s that.” Felix replies. “I’m sure they’ll be able to find someone else. Not everyone ends up with their soulmate, anyway.”

“I’d be happy to have you as my soulmate.” Chan boldly signs after a while. After all, it’s not a lie. “Felix, you make me so happy. Why can’t you understand that?”

“You’re different, Chan. You’ve been with me for so long, I… I’m just a burden. I always have been, and you don’t have a choice anymore.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Felix stares, shocked at his furious swearing. “Felix, I don’t know where I would be without you. I made the choice to be your friend, and I’ll never regret that. Of course I’ll choose to be with you. You think I hang out with you because I’m forcing myself to?!”

“I… I know it was your choice. But there’s no way that I don’t cause you pain. For God’s sake, you don’t even hang out with other people. You’re always with me, and I’m just holding you back.”

Felix doesn’t know why he hasn’t done this before. Maybe it was because being with Chan just became so comfortable. Maybe it’s because Felix doesn’t know what he would do without Chan either. He doesn’t know where he would be if he didn’t have Chan’s smile, and his endearing love for music whenever he plays the guitar, and the memories of a boy willing to learn sign language for him, and their late-night games, and Chan’s warm embraces. But maybe it’s finally time for Felix to let go. He should have done this from the start. But he fell too far.

“It’s time. Before it’s too late. I can’t keep holding Chan back anymore.” Felix thinks.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Felix feels his eyes burning. He’s really doing this. “I can’t be friends with you anymore. It’s always been a pain, and you’re so annoying, why don’t you just leave me alone?!” Felix signs as the tears run down his face. This isn’t enough, he thinks. He needs to say more. After all, they say the more you say it, the more believable it is.

“I hate you. I’ve always been acting. I can’t believe you’ve stuck around with me for so many years – I’m sick and tired of you. Get out!”

Chan is frantically trying to sign quickly. “You don’t mean that! Stop lying! Why are you doing this?” Chan puts his guitar aside and reaches his hand out to hold Felix, but his hand is slapped away.

“All this time, I’ve been suffering because of you. I don’t want to see you ever again!” Felix gets up and pushes him, underestimating Chan’s strength.

Chan wraps his arms around Felix, ignoring his flailing arms and punching hands trying to push him away. Felix starts to shout in his broken voice, sobbing and crying out with words that Chan can’t understand. Felix cries in frustration and eventually finds himself sobbing in Chan’s arms, both dropping to the ground. He lets this time go, because he knows. He knows he can’t fool Chan. He knows that when Chan holds him close and envelops him in warmth, he’s not ready to let go of his home.

This is the first try. But Felix won’t give up. He has to let Chan go.

* * *

The second time, Felix tries to avoid Chan completely. It’s been a week since their ‘argument’, and he completely ghosts him. Which would be easy, aside from the fact that Felix and Chan go to the same school. They always go to school together, and while Felix has been playing sick the whole week, his mum has had enough, and is forcing him to finally go back to school the next Monday. He looks at all his favourite foods on his desk, dropped off by Chan every day after school, and just knows that Chan will still be waiting for him like he has every morning for the past week.

Felix doesn’t know what to do anymore. So he plugs his earphones in, signs goodbye to his mother, and walks out the door, trying to ignore the way that Chan’s face lights up immediately, only to be mirrored with Felix’s straight and serious face.

“What’s wrong?” Chan signs, “You only put earphones in when you’re ignoring people.”

And as painful as it is, Felix walks straight past him, and down the road to the bus stop. Chan immediately goes to put a hand on his shoulder, gripping tight as Felix tries to shake his shoulder free. When Chan doesn’t let go, Felix holds tight onto his arm, eyes fierce. Chan knows that look. It’s the one where he’s about to pull a taekwondo move on him and flip him over. Chan almost forgets about Felix’s black belt.

Chan lets go and quickly signs, “Is this about last week? I thought we were okay.”

Felix hesitates before he signs a short, “We’re over.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? I know you were lying and I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me the truth.”

“I already told you, I never want to see you again.” Felix takes off and runs to the bus stop, leaving Chan behind.

They still end up on the same bus. Felix sits all the way at the back, staring out the window and trying to stop himself from looking ahead where Chan regretfully sits in the middle. When they arrive at their stop, Chan waits for Felix, only to be ignored again.

Chan runs ahead of him and signs, “You can’t ignore me forever. I’ll still stick by you.”

Felix simply pushes past him once more.

The rest of the day, Chan follows Felix around, just as usual, except for the communication. After recess, Felix finds himself pretending to be sick in the first aid office. He assures the nurse that his parents are working, and he will stay until he feels better, as if they really care whether he sleeps here the whole day or not. He just hopes that Chan won’t realise.

But of course, Chan turns up at lunch, and Felix shoots up from the bed, furiously signing again.

“Are you serious?! Can’t you see you’re annoying and I don’t want to be around you anymore? Go away!”

“Stop it! Stop saying things you don’t mean! I know you’re lying so please, just tell me what’s wrong!!”

Felix would be lying if he said he wasn’t tired. He’s tired of Chan always coming back to him, never leaving him, and constantly trying. But he’s also tired of running and lying and pretending. Felix doesn’t know what to do anymore. They’ve clearly been friends for too long and Felix has taken it too far. He can’t hide anything from Chan. Felix considers running out of school, but he knows that even at home, Chan will be waiting for him.

So he tries again. Because words are the only thing that can really hurt.

“Why are you so obsessed with me? Why don’t you just leave me alone? I already fucking said I hate you!” Felix signs with tears stinging his eyes again.

“Because you’re my best friend, and I know when you’re lying! Just calm down and we can talk it out together!”

“How would you know if I’m lying? You don’t even know me!”

Felix immediately regrets it when he sees the pain in Chan’s eyes. This is it. He has to do it now.

“All this time, you thought you knew me, but how would you know? There are things I can hide from you too!” Felix’s mind betrays him and thinks of his hidden feelings, but he locks those thoughts away.

“Just because we’ve been together for so many years and you can communicate with me in sign, doesn’t mean that you really know how I feel. You’ll never understand me, because we’re different. In the first place, you just pitied me and that’s all you’ve ever done. There’s nothing genuine in this friendship when all you care about is making yourself feel better! So why don’t you fuck off and go find new friends who will actually appreciate you?”

Felix storms off in tears, taking his bag and leaving the school grounds.

This time, Chan doesn’t follow him.

* * *

Felix comes home, thankful that his parents are full-time workers and his sisters aren’t home, and breaks down sobbing on his bed. It hurts him to have to lie so much – like a toxic smog that suffocates his lungs and makes it hard to breathe and makes his body shake uncontrollably. He can’t stop crying because he knows. He knows that Chan is the only one who truly understands him. That Chan is the only one who knows him inside and out, and that Chan could have never pitied him when they were only 7 years old and Chan was a child who couldn’t care less about whether he could speak or not. He just wanted to make a friend. And he cries because he appreciates Chan every day. Chan will never understand how much he means to Felix. And so, Felix cries himself to sleep, silently hoping that Chan will finally leave him alone. That their ties have been completely cut.

Chan doesn’t know what to think. When Felix says he doesn’t know him, it hurts. It hurts because all he’s ever done is try to understand Felix and what he goes through. He’s always just tried to be there for him. It hurts his pride because while he doesn’t think he befriended Felix out of pity, he can never be sure of what 7-year old him was thinking. And it hurts him when Felix says he doesn’t appreciate Chan.

Somewhere inside, he thinks that Felix is still lying, but the past week of ignoring him after their argument and the whole morning of trying to get away from Chan makes him consider that Felix really does hate Chan. He doesn’t know why, or when it started, but he doesn’t have time to wonder, when the deep and dark feeling of grief and rejection overwhelms him.

Felix wakes up feeling groggy and feeling like crap. “It worked,” Felix thinks when he doesn’t see Chan stop by his house that afternoon. No more plastic bags full of convenience store food, he supposes. He also never sees Chan walk by when it’s around the time that the bus returns from school. Felix brushes it off and reasons that he probably just missed him, despite having watched the window for the past hour.

When his mother comes home and sees his swollen eyes and crumpled school clothes he slept in, she simply accepts and gives her son a hug. “We’ll talk after dinner.” She signs.

Felix thinks back to what he said again and hopes that he wasn’t too harsh. If it really goes the way Felix had hoped, Chan should take this as an opportunity to make new friends, and not just wallow in his sadness. It scares Felix because he can never know for sure. Not unless he goes back to school tomorrow. But he’s afraid that seeing Chan again will make him cry and run again from the guilt, or that he won’t be able to keep acting in front of him.

He and his mother talk after dinner like promised, sitting down with hot chocolates, like when Felix was younger.

“What’s wrong, baby? Did something happen with you and Chan?”

Felix knows he can’t hide anything from his mother, so he breaks down sobbing again, embracing his mother’s warmth before calming down enough to sign.

“I broke up with him. Our friendship, I mean.” Felix paused. It’s not easy to admit to your mother that you think you’re a burden in life without spilling out every other deep and dark thought. But he knows he can’t fool his mother. The two have been friends for years, and she’s seen that nothing could ever come between them. Until now.

“I don’t want to be a burden to him. He doesn’t even make friends with anyone else, and I know he could do so much more, go so much farther, if only I didn’t drag him down.”

“Oh, baby, you’re not a burden. You know that. Look at me.” She caresses her son’s face. “That’s not up to you to decide what Chan would be like or what life Chan should have. That’s his own choice. And he chose you. And you of all people should know that the bond between you two is special. You’re inseparable. You can’t just cut all ties with him like that.”

“I remember when you tried to make friends when you were younger. Before Chan moved here. It hurt me so much to see that the other kids saw you as different. And they looked at you with those disgusting eyes. But Chan, he was the first one to reach out to you. That boy is special, baby. He’s stuck with you all these years, because he wants to. He was the first one to see you for you.”

His mother’s words make Felix break down in tears even more, as he sobs uncontrollably into her shoulder, knowing that she is right. That everything Felix said to Chan could never be true.  
He regrets everything and quickly puts his shoes and some presentable clothes on to run down to Chan’s house only a few numbers down.

* * *

When Felix finally reaches Chan’s house, he rings the doorbell as he tries to catch his breath.

“Felix?” Chan’s mum says as she opens the door. “What’s wrong?” She signs with her basic sign language.

Felix catches his breath and signs, “I need to see Chan.”

“Chan’s not home yet. I just assumed he was with you.” She signs.

Felix stares in shock. Chan hasn’t come home yet? Since going to school?

“He’s not with me.” Felix signs as he watches the confusion on Mrs. Bang’s face.

“That’s weird. He usually calls if he’s home late. Where could he be? Dear, could you call Chan?” Chan’s mum turns around to ask her husband. “Felix, where are you going?” She calls out, her voice falling silent on Felix’s ears.

He quickly gets his phone and messages Chan, “Where are you????” He calls Chan, watching his screen and waiting for the “00:00” to pop up.

“Where would he be?” Felix wonders. He could’ve gone anywhere after school if he didn’t go straight home. He thinks of the crappy arcade near school, or the soccer field, or the bubble tea place where they go after school sometimes. But Felix reminds himself that it’s already so late in the night.

After receiving no reply, he wracks his brain again. “Think, Felix, think! Where would Chan go if he was feeling down?” Felix didn’t want to assume the worst, but the terror and fear had already creeped into his heart. Felix felt tears again as he started to regret everything. He didn’t mean for this to happen. And then it hits him. Maybe that place. It’s special to both of them, and it’s where they go when either of them are feeling down.

So Felix runs to the park, two blocks away, and finds himself out of breath and almost dying, as he lays eyes on a boy sitting on the swings and looking up at the night sky. Felix would be admiring his figure and ethereal beauty, if it weren’t for the burning in his chest and the fear that overtook him before.

“Felix?” Chan notices because of his panting, and quickly jogs over as Felix falls, hands and knees to the ground.

“Felix, are you all right??” Chan lifts Felix’s head gently as he signs. Chan isn’t prepared when Felix suddenly hugs him and holds him tight, as if Chan could disappear any moment. Chan taps Felix’s back repeatedly, warning him of suffocation.

“I went to you house and they said you didn’t come home and I was so scared and-“ Felix signs in a flurry of movements before Chan puts his hands over Felix’s.

“Calm down. Say it slowly. It’s okay, I’m here.” Chan signs.

 ******* “I… I thought you were gone. I was so scared. Scared that after I said all those terrible things that you’d…” Felix can’t bring himself to do the next sign, but he knows Chan understands regardless. *******

“Of course not, Felix! God, I’m so sorry.” Chan signs before he embraces Felix again, hands gently caressing his hair.

“I should be the one saying sorry.” Felix signs after they part again. “I said all those horrible things to you that I didn’t mean, and I hurt you so much.”

“Felix, it’s okay. I’m honestly just glad that it wasn’t true.” Chan signs in relief. “I… I wasn’t sure. After you ignoring me for a whole week, and the way you acted this morning… I thought that maybe, just maybe, you were right. That I never really understood you, or that I did pity you.”

“Chan, god, I’m so sorry. You have to know that it isn’t true.” Felix pleads with tears. “Chan, you’re the only person who understands me. I appreciate you every single day. You saw me for who I was, and you stuck with me this whole time. There’s no way that you don’t know me.”

“Then why?” Chan finally asks. Felix pauses, biting his lip while thinking of what to say.

“I wanted you to forget about me. I didn’t want to be a burden to you anymore. I didn’t want to drag you down anymore, and I thought that if I fought with you, if I ignored you and said all those things – I thought that would make you cut off ties with me.” Felix explains. “I’ve always thought I was a burden. But it wasn’t until that day that I realised that I should’ve done it a while ago. I realised that I’d fallen too far for you, and that I couldn’t lie to you. So I ignored you.”

Chan took a few seconds to process what Felix had said. “Fallen for me…? Felix, do… do you like me?” Chan asked.

Felix laughs, and Chan is surprised, but delights in seeing Felix smile again.

“I open up about my insecurities and that’s what you pick up?” They both laugh for a moment. At this point, Felix knows it’s too late to deny anything. Hell, he can’t live without this boy. “Chan, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I… I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.”

Felix smiles at Chan and Chan thinks that he’s beautiful. The moonlight shines on his face, sparkles in his eyes, and highlights his sakura pink hair. Chan cups Felix’s face with his right hand, wiping his tears gently.

“Felix, can I kiss you?” Chan doesn’t let go of the boy he loves, so he lets Felix read his lips.

“You don’t know how much I’ve dreamed of this.” Felix signs as Chan slowly leans in.

Their first kiss is soft and gentle, and it fills Felix with overflowing warmth and love and everything sweet. He feels salty tears fall from both of them, and he lifts his hands up to grip Chan’s neck and tangle his fingers in his hair. This is so much better than his dreams, he thinks. He feels like he’s flying and like both nothing and everything is real at the same time. He thinks that he is finally home, and his home is warm and everything safe.

Chan thinks that the day has finally come. The day where he doesn’t need to hide his feelings for the sweet freckled boy that his heart has so helplessly fallen for. He feels like it’s a dream, but Felix’s hands in his hair and his sweet lips on his makes everything real. He cries tears of joy, because the boy doesn’t really hate him – how could Chan have believed that in the first place? – and their love is mutual.

Years of comfort and sharing life together; all led up to this moment. As they part to catch their breaths, they lean their foreheads against each other and wipe each other’s tears while beaming bright smiles of joy.

“What better place to have our first kiss than the first place we met, huh?” Chan signs, laughing.

“It’s perfect. You’re so beautiful.” Felix signs, leaving Chan a blushing mess as he covers his face.

“You can’t just say that out of nowhere! My heart can’t take this.”

Despite Chan’s embarrassment, Felix laughs. And then he pauses.  
And he thinks, “Stuff it.”  
And he sings.

And the way that Chan covers his mouth and tears start spilling from his eyes again and he’s shaking uncontrollably tells Felix that he was right all along. Felix smiles with tears streaming down again as he continues to sing his soulsong. Their soulsong.

And Chan thinks he is absolutely and breathtakingly beautiful. And that his voice, clear as a whistle, is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard in his life.

Felix thinks that all this time, he had always wondered, and he had always wanted to hear what Chan was playing, and what made Chan so happy when he completed a part of the song. Who knew that he had been hearing it this whole time, just in his own silent world.

Eventually Chan sings along too, and they finish the song in harmony. They embrace each other again – they found each other, even before they knew their songs were the same.  
Felix finds himself glad that he didn’t keep it to himself. Otherwise he would never have the courage to take Chan and call him his own.

Chan is grateful to the universe for leading him to the quiet, freckled boy. And that every day with the silent boy has been nothing but perfect.

In the end, they found their home in each other. A special bond that no one could break. Their soulsong becomes a promise. A promise to be there for each other. A promise to never leave one another. A promise to stay by each other’s side forever.

* * *

Chan is in his room playing his guitar when his door bursts open and Felix is standing there, panting, with a bag in hand.

Chan puts his guitar on its stand and signs, “Felix? What’s wrong?” It’s rare for Felix to burst into his room so suddenly.

Felix walks over to sit next to him on his bed, an ecstatic smile beaming on his face as he simply takes a small case out of the bag.

“Is… Is this what I think it is?” Chan stares in awe as Felix opens the case, revealing shiny new hearing aids.

“But… I thought you don’t want them. You always said you never needed them.” Chan signs in confusion.

Felix smiles before signing, “There’s only two things I want to hear in the world.”

Felix holds the delicate hearing aids in his hands and pulls out the instruction manual. Chan helps him to put them on, and then waits for Felix.  
He hears the switch turn on.

“Felix?”

Felix can’t help the tears from falling as he wraps his arms around Chan and sobs into his shoulder. Chan puts his arms around the younger, rubbing his back to comfort him. Felix pulls back and tries to wipe his tears as his nose gets clogged up. Felix never knew he would get so emotional, but he understands, because hearing Chan’s voice has always been a dream, and now it’s become reality.

Chan laughs at Felix’s attempts to dry his tears and grabs a tissue box. “You’re a mess.” He laughs again.

It only makes Felix cry even more, because Chan’s laughter might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. Considering the only thing he’s heard is his voice. But Felix is convinced that hearing Chan speak and laugh has only made him love him more.

“Did you hear them?” Chan says out loud and signs, still unused to being heard. “The two things?”

“I didn’t count your laugh, so it’s three things.” Felix giggles. “I want to hear our song.”

Now it’s Chan’s turn to feel the tears welling up in his eyes. It’s time for him to play their song. He thinks back to the first time he learnt to play it. How he looked at Felix with such adoration and love. How he always wished it was theirs. How he was so convinced that they were bound together, and that even if they weren’t, he would be willing to throw away his soulmate for the boy sitting in front of him.

He’s pleasantly surprised. He always thought he would be the only one to hear it physically. He’s played it for Felix before – almost every day, singing along so Felix can follow his lips, but this time is different.

This time, Felix can hear. So he grabs his guitar, and with tears running down his face and over his gentle smile, he sings.

And Felix doesn’t know if he could love a person anymore than this man. Scratch that. He knows. He knows that this is the man who has overtaken his life and filled his heart with love. He knows that this is the person he loves the most, with his whole being.

His heart blossoms with warmth and pride, as he hears the melodic guitar and Chan’s sweet voice together in harmony, no longer just a tune in his head.  
He’s about to join in, until he hears Chan sing words.

Chan wrote lyrics.

As Felix listens, his chest tightens and his body wracks with sobs and he doesn’t know if his heart can take it. He’s so overwhelmed with sounds and emotions – but it’s an orchestra of sounds that he’ll listen to on repeat for the rest of his life.

_Hey beautiful, do you remember?_   
_That one summer day, when I took your hand?_   
_I’ll never forget it, look at how far we’ve come_   
_Who knew it was destiny, binding our souls together?_   
_But, boy, am I beyond grateful that the universe gave me you_

_You are so perfect, in every single way_   
_I love you, each and every day_   
_You’re my universe, my life, my love_   
_You’re my forever, and I’m never letting you go_

_Let this melody be our promise,_   
_Our guiding light, our soulsong_   
_A promise to never leave you_   
_A promise to keep you safe and warm_   
_A promise that I will always be your home_

**Author's Note:**

> excuse the crappy original lyrics lol also the unoriginal title   
> thank you so much for reading this and giving it a chance!! i really do appreciate it. as i said before, i know nothing about deaf people and their experiences so i hope i could write them somewhat accurately, but please let me know if you feel offended or uncomfortable in any way. 
> 
> please comment or leave any feedback if you’d like – tell me what i can do better lol  
> also please come talk to me, say hi, get to know me, or scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/beomieggyu)!


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